Move over Al Gore!  Prophet of Doom. Pope of Green-Rich Pillage.  No more of your " An Inconvenient Spoof."   No more convenient  global name changing.

You see, after having a life changing experience akin to losing a national election, I grew a  beard and wandered the Ivory Towers of Indoctrination of my Alma mater.  There mingling amongst the under grads I attended some mind enhancing social gatherings.  While in an altered state of mind I realized I needed a cause.  One such as you had discovered in the rehashing of your youth and of the global cooling crisis.  How clever of you to think of warming. 

In the clouded haze that was about me, courtesy of a glass pipe,  I pondered CO2 and how similar it must be to happy smoke.  I puffed my way up the frat stairs and met with a dude who had concocted some form of green beverage in a Igloo cooler.  Spent bottles and over- the- counter pill jars scattered the floor.   His eyes glowing, his smile calm like some ancient mystic, the dude ladled me a cup.   After two or three cups I stumbled across the floor.  I leaned in and looked down into the green pool of juice at the bottom of the cooler and in a form true to Nostradamus I saw the future swirling about.  I was so out of balance, wobbling this way and that, but so in tune with the moment.  A moment such as you must of had.  I had struck upon the movement.

STOP GLOBAL WOBBLING!  I will come out with a book you can take with you to a remote cabin here in Montana where you can hole up for weeks on end, reading it until it becomes dog-eared.  To this you can scrawl a 1500 page manifesto, don a hoodie, sunglasses and engage in some criminal environmental activism.  I will marvel at the fact that one doesn't need a remote cabin to go nuts over a manufactured crisis as millions will buy into it. 

However, my crisis is backed by credible science.  The book title?  Oh yeah, "Earth out of Balance."  All I need do now is convince the masses that we cause it, that we can do something to stop it and that something needs to happen now or more than just polar bears and Michael Phelps will be swimming.

Actually, there are scientists that say the phenomenon of global wobbling will create global warming.  So much for all your CO2 worries.  2012 Dudes, party like there is no tomorrow,  engage in global warbling!

Peace